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Year 3, Week 36 (September 22-28)

This upcoming week in the Jewish calendar marks the Ten Days of Repentance, a window of time between the Jewish New Year and the Day of Atonement. Jewish people consider this a time of reflection and renewal — an opportunity to think about how individuals and communities have done wrong in the past year, and how to rectify past misdeeds. So, given the news of the past week, this must be a weird time in Jared and Ivanka’s house.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m mostly summarizing the news within my area of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a subpoena! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!


Constitutional Crisis Corners:

The main contents of the CCC this week are another wild round of Whistleblowing Ukraine Biden Bingo, with everything even more dialed up to 11 than before. Here’s what I have for you, and I’m sorry about the mess:


As forecast above, we also had a wild resurgence of the Russia Investigation, by which I mean this administration is investigating the Mueller investigation. I guess the best defense is a “good” unrelated offense, at least if you’re playing MAGA LSD Five Dimensional Chess. Here’s what they’ve been up to:


Your “Normal” Weird:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for this week, and I’m sorry, but there are no news refunds. For making it through, you deserve this doggo employing hug therapy and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more ice cream, cause we still need it!

Year 3, Week 35 (September 15-21)

Okay folks, I suggest that you brace yourself now — this week’s Constitutional Crisis Corner is on a whole new level, and I don’t mean that in the “oh hey I progressed in Donkey Kong Country” way. (Although Trump’s Kremlin(g) impression keeps getting more transparent. Watch out for those barrels of dynamite! I’ll be under the bed.)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m mostly summarizing the news within my area of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a tax return! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!


Constitutional Crisis Corners:

The Constitutional Crisis Corner now has a brand new subsection, and I suggest we all grow to love it because it’s going to be here a while. So let me be the first to welcome you to Whistleblowing Ukraine Biden Bingo, the game we all hate and will likely be stuck playing for the next month or more:


Despite all of the above, we do still have some Russia Investigation news, though it sort of pales in comparison. Here’s what I have right now:


Just like every week, there was also a fair amount of Disregard of Governing Norms outside of the whole whistleblowing parade. Here’s what I have for you:

  • Elaine Chao Investigation. Transportation secretary Elaine Chao is being investigated for alleged ethics violations — and for those of you playing the home game, yes, you are correctly remembering that this is Mitch McConnell’s wife. She’s supposed to turn over internal documents by September 30, so we should know more one way or the other by the time we reach that deadline.

Your “Normal” Weird:

  • New National Security Adviser? Against the backdrop of everything else, it’s pretty easy to forget that John Bolton just got resign-fired, but we now have a named candidate to replace him — hostage negotiator Robert O’Brien. Apparently O’Brien has some bipartisan support, with a former Obama staffer describing him as “a good person [who] will certainly be [in] a challenging role.” The weird thing here is that Trump wants someone with bipartisan support in the first place, but hopefully O’Brien will be a tempering influence.

The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for this week, and I’m sorry, but there are no news refunds. For making it through, you deserve this lil big cat playing with autumn leaves and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more ice cream, cause we still need it!

Year 3, Week 34 (September 8-14)

It has been another long week, and increasingly it’s easy to forget there was ever any other kind. Here’s hoping that next week is better than this one, because I’m here to tell you I prefer fewer constitutional crises with my breakfast cereal.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a Judicial Committee member! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!


Constitutional Crisis Corners:

We’re starting to see more movement on the Russia Investigation, though as with all things we see pushback whenever we see progress. Here’s what I have right now:


There was also a fair amount of Disregard of Governing Norms, and some of it is pretty extreme. Here’s what I have for you:


Your “Normal” Weird:

  • Purdue Declares Bankruptcy.* Purdue Pharma — the major pharmaceutical company widely regarded as responsible for sparking the opiate crisis — filed for bankruptcy this week. This may be an attempt to get out of the $1.2B settlement they agreed to a week or two ago, but it also might simply be true that their many lawsuits have bankrupted them. Either way, it almost certainly marks the end of the company, which brings grim satisfaction to many people touched by the opiate epidemic.

The Bad:

  • Synagogue Fire. A historic 119-year-old synagogue burned down this week in Minnesota, marking the destruction of the last historic prayer center of its kind in the region. Reports differ on whether it was arson or an accident, but the main suspect is not being charged with a hate crime. Even so, the fire is a painful loss felt more keenly because of the political atmosphere of 2019.

The Good:

  • Stores Take a Stand (continued). Modern businesses again expressed opinions about gun law reform this week, this time with a letter to Congress signed by CEOs of 145 different companies. The letter called the Senate’s current inaction “simply unacceptable,” urging them to enact existing House bills requiring expanded background checks and stronger red flag laws. We’ll see if anything comes of this, but even if it doesn’t, the sheer number of companies indicates that public sentiment is not in McConnell’s court here.

So that’s what I have for this week, and I think we can all agree that it’s more than enough. For making it through, you deserve this excited pup going down a slide and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more ice cream, cause we’re gonna need it!

Year 3, Week 33 (September 1-7)

This week was a day shorter than normal, and yet somehow still managed to nonetheless squeeze in two weeks’ worth of burning garbage. It’s kind of a neat magic trick, except for the part where, y’know, it sucks.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not an energy-efficient light bulb manufacturer! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!


Constitutional Crisis Corners:

We’re starting to see more movement on the Russia Investigation, and I’m excited to see what the House does now that it’s returning! Here’s what I have right now:


There was also a fair amount of Disregard of Governing Norms, and some of it is pretty extreme. Here’s what I have for you:


Your “Normal” Weird:


The Bad:


The Good:

  • Success in Hong Kong. The extradition bill in Hong Kong, which sparked many months of dedicated protest, was finally taken off the table this week by leader Carrie Lam. The protesters are nonetheless holding strong, calling for more bedrock political reform that would allow the region to retain its autonomy and curtail police brutality. Both the withdrawal of the bill and the protesters’ convictions are really powerful reminders of how civil unrest can protect important liberties.

So that’s what I have for this week, and I think we can all agree that it’s more than enough. For making it through, you deserve this American woodcock rocking out and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more ice cream, cause we’re already out!

Year 3, Week 32 (August 25–31)

Another week, another giant pile of “why are we trapped in this timeline.” As always, ice cream and I are there for you, but frankly, I won’t judge you if you go with something harder this week — the week went pretty hard on us, so it’s only fair.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a tax return! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

We’re starting to see more movement on the Russia Investigation than we’ve seen in some time, but that doesn’t mean it’s exciting news. Here’s what I have right now:

  • Comey Commotion.* The Justice Department’s inspector general announced this week that former FBI head James Comey violated FBI protocol when he documented conversations with Trump in private memoranda and retained copies after he was fired. Unsurprisingly, Trump was tweeting about the findings pretty much immediately, but no official censure has been forthcoming — that will be the role of the Office of Professional Responsibility.

There was considerably more Disregard of Governing Norms, and none of it was especially fun viewing. Here’s what I have for you:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and I think we can all agree that it’s more than enough. For making it through, you deserve this compilation of lounging Jacob Rees-Mogg memes and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more ice cream, cause we’re gonna need it!

Year 3, Week 31 (August 18–24)

This week has basically been ten pounds of chaos in a five-pound can — it’s a rough ride featuring everything from rainforest arson to Trump deciding he’s The Chosen One. I’m sorry, this is in fact reality, but your ice cream is here for you and so am I.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a Twitter tantrum! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

With the Mueller investigation over and the Senate and House both on a break, the Russia Investigation has been pretty quiet. But here’s what I have right now:

The name of the game this week was Disregard of Governing Norms, and oh, what a week it was. Here’s what I have for you:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and good gravy, what even is the news right now. For making it through, you deserve this monkey reunion video and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more ice cream, cause we’re gonna need it!

Year 3, Week 30 (August 11–17)

Well, I got back from vacation and the nation was somehow even more on fire than I left it. (I swear I didn’t leave the stove on.) We’ll get through this and out the other side; it’s just going to take all of us pitching in to support each other.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a trip to Israel! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

With the Mueller investigation over and the Senate and House both on a break, the Russia Investigation has been pretty quiet. But here’s what I have right now:

This week’s Disregard of Governing Norms news, on the other hand, sure had attributes. Here’s what happened:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and good gravy, what even is the news right now. For making it through, you deserve this primer on zero-proof beverages and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me a kudos for surviving a nine-hour Ikea trip!

National News Roundup: Year 3, Week 27 (July 21–27)

This week has a lot happening, and much of it can feel like a shell game designed to hide the ball from view — because it is. I’ll try to keep folks posted on everything going on, though some days it’s hard for me to keep my eye on the ball as well — those cups move really fast! (But we all do our best.)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a policy change! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

It’s another week of heavy movement on the Russia Investigation front, and some of the news has major implications. Here’s what’s going on right now:

This week’s Disregard of Governing Norms news is just repeated installments of the Trump Is Horrible Show, but we have to pay attention to it anyway because it has implications. Here’s what happened:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and it’s more than enough. For making it through, you deserve this excellent cover of Old Town Road and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me a full night’s sleep so I can feel all fancy!

National News Roundup: Year 3, Week 26 (July 14–20)

You know, occasionally people will remark on how I’m able to stare into the news void so much without getting jaded, and I don’t know what they mean — but then I look at a dog and pony show like this past week’s media circus and I’m somehow still amazed by how Extra it is. So I guess y’all have a point. (That said, I’m not sure if that’s a comment on my resilience, on 45’s smoke and mirrors, or both. It’s probably both.)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a Twitter tantrum! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

After a few weeks of quiet, we saw some significant movement on the Russia Investigation this week. Here’s what I have for you:

There was mostly just one gigantic story on the Disregard of Governing Norms front, but it’s quite a saga. Here’s what happened:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and it’s more than enough. For making it through, you deserve these videos of Broadway performers singing in the streets during last week’s blackout and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me your completed bingo card to win a prize!

National News Roundup: Year 3, Week 25 (July 7–13)

My sense this week is that much like my car, we’re all out of gas right now. It’s okay to rest and refuel, folks — in fact, it’s important, because this dystopia is an ultra-marathon and we all get tired sometimes. Take the time you need and come back ready to fight. (In the meantime, sloth party at my place!)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a Twitter tantrum! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

It was actually a pretty quiet week for the Russia Investigation, all things considered, but we did see a couple of things. Here’s what happened:

We did see a couple of bizarre actions on the Disregard of Governing Norms front, in contrast. Here’s what happened:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and it’s more than enough. For making it through, you deserve these calves with knitted earmuffs and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully better) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me better news from our interior!