Year 8, Weeks 18-19 (May 19 – June 1)


Friends, I’m sure most of you have probably already heard the biggest story of this cycle by now – but we can go through all of it again anyway. Have a little schadenfreude, as a treat.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a criminal trial!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:

We do have both Trump Court Cases and Trump’s Horrifying Stumping stories in the Election Et Cetera column this cycle, though of course his conviction looms the largest. Here’s what has happened since last time:


In contrast, the Capitol Hill Dales stories were relatively minor. Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:

  • My Wife Likes Flags. This cycle saw yet another Supreme Court ethics scandal, this time centering around Justice Alito flying not one, but two different insurrectionist flags on his properties over multiple years. Alito then refused to recuse himself from the Jan 6 cases currently before SCOTUS, responding to Democrats’ demands with an obnoxious letter that basically boiled down to “My wife likes flags, and anyway you can’t make me.” (Ethics experts had some good commentary on the letter; on X, a New York University Law professor rightfully describes said letter as “trolling us.”) Then Chief Justice Roberts, not to be outdone, refused to meet with Democrats about the very real ethics problems he has with several justices on his bench. Folks, I don’t think most outlets reporting on this are really capturing just how bad it is, so I want to take a few minutes to unpack it. Alito himself mentions in his letter that the standard here is whether impartiality might be reasonably questioned. This is because modern judicial conduct codes are designed to capture even activity that gives off an appearance of impropriety, whether or not impropriety is actually occurring. In other words, the point isn’t whether he has an opinion about insurrection (although yeah, he probably does support it), because it’s a problem if anyone even thinks he has an opinion about insurrection. And Alito is out here arguing that yeah, he was pulled over with an open handle of vodka sitting next to him in the cup holder, and yeah, he was captured on camera going 80 down the highway, but it was his wife’s cupholder, and she has the right to drink vodka while he goes 80 down the highway, so how dare anybody question his driving and he’s definitely not going to stop doing it.

The Bad:


The Good:

  • Wu Tang World Premier. The world’s most expensive album — sold to Martin Shkreli in 2015 for $2M, seized by the U.S. government in his trial, and eventually sold off as an NFT for $4M — has been loaned out to the Museum of Old and New Art in Australia. The museum plans to play it for the public twice daily for nine straight days, from June 15 to 24. This will be the first time this album, called “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin,” has ever been played in public at all. It’s a fascinating development in what is a fascinating piece of musical history in its own right.

So that’s what I have for you, and let’s all be glad it’s not worse. For still reading these roundups, you deserve this doggo pool exit and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more hours in the day!

Year 8, Weeks 15-17 ( April 28 – May 18)


April showers appear to be bringing May… showers, at least where I live. But they also bring gloomy news updates! Hooray, spring in 2024.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a criminal trial!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:

The theme of the Election Et Cetera stories this cycle is both Trump Court Cases and Trump’s Horrifying Stumping. Here’s what has happened since last time:


In contrast, the Capitol Hill Dales stories were relatively minor. Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and I’m sorry, there are no news refunds. For still reading these roundups, you deserve this gentle cat suggestion and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more time to take naps!

Year 8, Weeks 12-14 ( April 7-27)


My apologies for the longer cycle than intended this go-round, folks – Passover really snuck up on me, and the Seder took precedence last Monday. Thankfully, we appear to have passed over the worst types of news this cycle as well. So I suppose it all evens out!

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a noncompete clause!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


The theme of the Election Et Cetera stories this cycle is definitely Trump Court Cases. Here’s what has happened since last time:


In contrast, the Capitol Hill Dales more-or-less run the gamut. Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and I’m sure next cycle will be worse. For still reading these roundups, you deserve this gay icon and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me fortitude to make it to the end of this holiday!

Year 8, Weeks 9-10 ( March 17-30)


Well folks, it’s April, and the news is full of fools. (I wish I could claim this was intentional, but sadly it is not.) Nonetheless, the NNR is here, and that’s no joke!

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not an electoral candidate!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


I hope everybody’s ready for another episode of The Trump and Biden Show, because we’re back with more Election Et Cetera. Here’s what has happened since last time:


Unsurprisingly, the Capitol Hill Dales also remain pretty election-flavored this cycle. Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and let’s enjoy this relative reprieve while we can. For making it through, you deserve this truth in advertising and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me your peep recipes!

Year 8, Weeks 6-8 (February 25 – March 16)


Folks, I won’t lie to you – the NNR was postponed because I really, really struggled emotionally with some of this cycle’s stories. If you are someone with a personal stake in Gaza, someone gender nonconforming, or someone who was very traumatized by Orange Mussolini Round 1, you might want to have emergency icecream at the ready for this one.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not an electoral candidate!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


Now that we’ve officially locked in candidates, the Election Et Cetera section is going to be the Trump and Biden show for the foreseeable future. Here’s what has happened since last time:


Unsurprisingly, the Capitol Hill Dales are also pretty election-flavored this cycle. Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and I’m sorry, there are no news refunds. For making it through, you deserve a new hope for Voyager and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me better news in the next cycle again cause the last one didn’t take.

Year 8, Weeks 3-5 (February 4-24)


We’re doing a bit of before-spring cleaning here at the NNR as we settle into Year 8 – good gravy, it’s hard to believe we’re in our eighth year of this. I’m open to feedback if anybody has it, but no worries if not – despite the flood of stories this week, we’re still ramping up, news-wise. Which is a bit dispiriting, because several of this cycle’s stories are truly painful.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a primary!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


I think it’s likely that Election Rejection will feature 2024 election news from here on out, though I’m going to keep the name for now. Here’s what has happened since last time:


Similarly, I’m rebranding the “everything else federal government” section to more accurately reflect its range. We’re going to call this one the Capitol Hill Dales, at least for now. Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and I think we can agree that it was more than enough. For making it through, you deserve these parrots’ cactus love affair and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me better news in the next cycle dear God.

Year 8, Weeks 1-2 (January 21–February 5)


It’s a new year, with surprisingly little new news! Which is to say, most of the news I have for you this cycle relates back to elections – either the upcoming 2024 election, or fallout from the insurrection of the 2020 one. And the 2024 election is looking more and more like a complete repeat of the 2020 circus. Everything new is old again, y’all.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be starting my eighth year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a primary!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!   


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


I think it’s likely that Election Rejection will feature 2024 election news from here on out, though I’m going to keep the name for now. Here’s what has happened since last time:


Meanwhile, Biden Rebuilding features a by-now-rare asterisk, as I cover a topic that I think needs attention even though it’s not my lane. Here’s what I have for you:  


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and there’s definitely more where that came from. For making it through, you deserve Elmo checking in on you and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me more chocolate because we’re running out!

Year 7, Weeks 51-52 (January 7-20)


This past cycle has been something of a surreal odyssey of election (rejection), between Iowa primaries last week and New Hampshire semi-official primaries this coming Tuesday. It makes me think we’re getting a preview of what Year 8’s prolonged election season will be like, and let me tell you, I don’t really want to see that movie. Alas, we all bought a ticket just by living here.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be rounding out my seventh year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not an election campaign!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!  


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


This cycle featured an unholy melding Election Rejection and semi-regular election news. Here’s what has happened since last time:


With election season officially underway, much of Biden Rebuilding looks like a campaign trail – but more about that below.  Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and there’s definitely more where that came from. For making it through, you deserve this brave rescue pupper and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me a better timeline before November!

Year 7, Weeks 46-50 (December 3 – January 6)


Hello from the other side of the holidays! The last few weeks were truly chaotic for me, and I appreciate your patience while we closed out 2023. Now it’s a whole new year, and the NNR is back, baby! Sadly, so is the terrible news.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be rounding out my seventh year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a voting ballot!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!  


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


Boy howdy, did a lot happen on the Election Rejection front during the break. Here’s what has happened since last time:


Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Biden Rebuilding front had a lot of news too.  Here’s what I have for you: 


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and I’m sorry, there are no news refunds. For making it through, you deserve Edgar Allan Poe ukulele and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me the energy to shovel my driveway!

Year 7, Weeks 43 and 44 (November 12-25)


This was a bit of a quieter cycle, unsurprisingly, due to the half-week created by the holiday on Thursday. I assure you, however, that there is plenty to cringe at from this news cycle–our national news is the grift that keeps on giving.

Standard standing reminders still apply: I may be rounding out my seventh year of journalism, but I summarize news within my areas of expertise. NNR summaries often contain some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise–I’m a lawyer, not a gag order!–but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. And, of course, for the things that are within my lane, I’m offering context that shouldn’t be considered legal advice. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers.  Onward to the news!  


Cleanup in Aisle 45:


We continue to run 45 stories on the Election Rejection front, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Here’s what has happened since last time:


Meanwhile, the Biden Rebuilding front is largely about where Biden isn’t.  Here’s what I have for you:


Your New Normal:


The Bad:


The Good:


So that’s what I have for you, and I’m sorry, there are no news refunds. For making it through, you deserve this possum snacktime and a more functional government.  I’ll be back next time with more restructured and improved news, and I hope you will be back as well–but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments.  Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me luck cause this week will be weird!