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National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 43 (November 11–17)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1lcyAh5tHJkARRCNeMIkRKEyJhU_e6dRo

The news was less traumatizing this week, but it was definitely no less weird. Every week’s a plague under this administration, but sometimes it just rains frogs — and hey, at least it’s not All Locusts All the Time! That said, weeks like this can’t be much fun for the frogs. And they’re not all that much fun for us, either.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a box of cereal! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

Last week’s Threat to Free Speech has taken some twists and turns, though it may be on its way to resolving. Main thing to know from this past week:

We also saw some movement on the Russia Investigation, though it was still relatively quiet comparatively speaking:

This week also marked the return of what used to be the most common crisis in this section, the Disregard of Governing Norms. Here’s all the weird noise that happened on that front this week:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

  • Protection for Temporary Protected Status. Despite an ongoing glut of bad news for immigrants in this country, we did see a brief glimmer of light recently: As the Roundup mentioned a few weeks ago, a recent lawsuit in California forced the administration to halt its plan to remove status from about 300,000 people. In response to this lawsuit, the administration codified a renewal process this week, and its terms are fairly generous — the programs affected will now offer automatic nine-month extensions, authorization to work, and ability to re-register until the court case is resolved. This process buys time and relief for a huge number of people legally present in the United States, so it’s a much-welcome respite for the people it helps.

So that’s what I have for this week, and it’s definitely more than enough. For making it through, you deserve this short video about a police station that helps dogs and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully less) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me caffeine or more time to nap!

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 42 (November 4–10)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1lzXJEPMtx4E3KI6a4QDXCGyPK1wAyfv8

This week was easily three weeks long — when asked to summarize it at a party this weekend, all I could come up with was “Election Day happened, then Trump threw a temper tantrum, then things got weird.” And, you know, writing that summary out a day later? Honestly, I kind of stand by it. (Although you still get a full Roundup, because I’m not at a party anymore.)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not an election! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

Things are mostly slightly calmer on the Stochastic Terrorism front, which means we’re seeing an uptick in Threats to Free Speech. Main thing to know from this past week:

We also saw some truly bonkers news on the Russia Investigation, which has been fairly quiet over the past few weeks:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, all three weeks’ worth of it. For making it through, you deserve this all-trombone cover of Bohemian Rhapsody and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully less) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me final updates on the election!

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 41 (October 28-November 3)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1uJ0rwygZH6W2qRXg9GszJsRJVvMdinj1

This past week was probably slightly better in sum total than the previous week, but that’s honestly not saying much, because it was still very bad. As we gear up for Election Day, we’re contending with a lot of disgusting rhetoric around immigrants especially, and this type of xenophobia is not a good look for this country. I’ve prepped a document you can throw at people who espouse Xenophobia Greatest Hits, but the best thing you can do this week to help is to go vote tomorrow! (Suggestions for ironing out common voting snags in the Good section.)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a HBO show! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

We’re still seeing a marked uptick in incitement of hate-based vandalism and violence this week, which remains a disgusting perversion of our First Amendment rights — and it’s made even worse by the fact that communities are still recovering from last week’s violence. I’ve tentatively settled on referring to this section as tracking Stochastic Terrorism, since that’s basically what we’re dealing with here. Things to know from this past week:

We also saw a brief blip on the Russia Investigation, which has been fairly quiet over the past few weeks:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and it’s better than it could have been. I think it’s fair to say that this week, we all deserve harvest mice sleeping in tulips and an eventual better government. At any rate, tomorrow will be exciting, and we’ll all know more soon. I’ll be back next week with more (and hopefully good) news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me photos of your I Voted sticker!

Aurgh, Stop Saying That: Debunking the Anti-Immigration Greatest Hits

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment
“Internet Troll velu ill artlibre jnl,” by JNL (User created) [FAL], via Wikimedia Commons

(This is the zillionth installment of a series of articles unpacking the many horrifying immigration implications created by the Trump administration. Though I am not an immigration specialist, I am a legal generalist working with indigent populations professionally full-time. This article is not intended to form an attorney-client relationship or constitute legal advice, though it is my hope that it will help people understand what is going on.)

Hi there! If you’re reading this, you’ve either expressed an interest in learning more about common immigration myths in 2018, or somebody arguing with you on the Internet sure wishes you would. Either way, you’re here now! So while I’ve got your attention, let’s talk about how a lot of the most common far-right talking points are blatantly factually untrue, as well as being incredibly recurrent. Because let’s face it, life’s too short to have these arguments over and over.

Myth 1: “My grandparents came here legally; why don’t they just get in line like my grandparents did?”

This one’s always a fun one — for some reason, people who love to brag about how their Great Uncle Joe made a killing with his bathtub moonshine in the 1920s also love to talk about how the same Great Uncle Joe came here totally legally. And just for extra confusion, both of those facts are probably true!

This is because illegal immigration is a relatively new concept in our history, and did not exist two generations ago. Similarly, most people who stood in a line at Ellis Island would be considered undocumented immigrants today, and “the line” to enter — commonly understood these days to refer to family sponsorship, though there are a handful of other routes to lawful permanent residency — can be more than ten years long.

Myth 2: “Immigrants are criminals who hurt U.S. citizens.”

At the time that I write this list, this myth is making a big ole’ comeback because President Trump just aired a campaign ad that essentially writes it in neon letters. But as a point of order, immigrants commit crimes at lower rates than citizens as a general statistical rule. And this makes sense, because the risk of deportation created by getting caught up in the criminal justice system is a powerful deterrent. If you’ve got more to lose, you’re less likely to break laws; that’s just how human psychology works. Though people may like to claim otherwise, most immigrants — even most of those who are being deported in Trumpian America — have no criminal record.

Myth 3: “Okay, well, just being here is illegal, so they’re really all criminals as soon as they get here!”

This little gem comes up way too often for my taste, and we can probably thank the common practice of using the i-word as a noun for that. And it’s deeply obnoxious, because actually, just being here isn’t illegal.

It is true that illegal entry at the border is a misdemeanor crime — the first offense is punishable by a maximum of six months in jail; you can think of it as trespassing on the U.S.’s front lawn. But many people arrive in the United States with a legal immigration status and then overstay that status, leaving them undocumented without having ever committed a criminal act. They were invited in the front door, so it’s not trespassing, and our laws reflect that; this is a civil violation, not a crime.

Myth 4: “The Constitution doesn’t protect non-citizens.”

I honestly don’t know where we first got the xenophobic idea that the Constitution doesn’t apply to people who live here, because in addition to being wrong it just makes no freaking sense. But this myth has been coming up a lot anyway, especially as we grapple with Trump’s recent announcement that he wants to end birthright citizenship (but more on that below).

Both the Fifth and Fourteenth amendments apply due process to “persons,” which courts have interpreted to refer to all immigrants (including undocumented people). And while I’m on the subject, the same exact amendment outlines birthright citizenship, as well, so ending it wouldn’t be constitutional either.

Myth 5: “Asylum seekers enter illegally, so they deserve what they get at the border.”

I’ve had several fights about this one since we entered Caravan Rhetoric Country a week or two ago, and I don’t mind telling you, I’m tired of arguing about it. Seeking asylum is not illegal; it’s a human right that has been protected by international law for over sixty years. And in fact, it’s not even trespassing on the U.S. lawn when people just show up to claim it, because that’s how you’re supposed to seek asylum. There’s a reason for that; it’s designed to help people who will be badly hurt or killed if they return home, and in emergency situations, a person may have pretty limited ability to wait around for paperwork or even pack.

Because these people are fleeing an emergency, incidentally, it should go without saying that it’s poor form to send in 15,000 troops and give them instructions to shoot anyone who throws a rock. I’m beyond disgusted that I have to say it anyway.

Basically, asylum is the immigration equivalent of banging on a stranger’s door at 3AM when there’s someone with a Jason mask and a dripping knife on your heels— you didn’t call ahead, and you may have shown up at a weird time, because there’s a guy who wants to kill you right behind you. When someone shows up at our door in crisis, we don’t respond by shooting them. What, these rules are good enough for fictional people in horror movies but not for real people in real life?

Myth 6: “We’re the only country that someone comes in and has a baby and then that baby is a citizen.”

This one’s a relative newcomer, probably because it wasn’t a Greatest Hit until Trump made it one this past week. We’re definitely not the only country that does this; thirty-three different countries have birthright citizenship and several more have a conditional form of it. Those countries, by the way, include every single country in North America (and all but two in South America, for that matter). It’s not common among European countries, but we’re not in any way unusual for honoring birthright citizenship as a country in the Americas.

Myth 7: “Arresting and detaining everyone found crossing the border (the ’Zero Tolerance’ policy) is necessary because the Democrats passed a law requiring it in 1996.”

This one is kind of a Wrong Inception, in that it has many different layers of wrong happening at once. I wrote a whole essay about this already, but suffice to say: Nope, nope, and for extra measure, nope. First layer: It’s not necessary to arrest and detain everyone at the border, and CBP and police were only doing it because Sessions told them to. Second layer: Democrats never passed a law on this topic — it was codified by something called the Flores settlement, which was actually a court action, so no legislation exists on this at all. Third layer: The underlying cause of action began in the 1980s, when Reagan was President, so there wasn’t even a Dem President responsible for the original policy. Three strikes, please stop saying this.

Myth 8: “Immigrants take jobs away from citizens.”

Migrant workers tend to do jobs that U.S. citizens don’t want, and those jobs tend to be service jobs — while disappearing jobs in our modern economy tend to be manufacturing jobs. To this point, increased detention rates mean that some industries — again, mostly service industries — are having a tough time finding workers. This wouldn’t be true if native workers and migrant workers were truly interchangeable, because unemployed native workers would take those jobs.

Also, countless studies have shown that immigration leads to economic growth on a national scale, which means immigration ultimately creates more jobs for all markets. So instead of saying that immigrants are taking your jobs away, you should probably try thanking them for helping create economic stability. (Immigrants: They get the jobs done.)

Myth 9: “Immigrants just want a government handout.”

Most immigrants cannot qualify for most benefits for at least five years after arriving in the United States and living as lawful permanent residents, and undocumented immigrants cannot qualify for the vast majority of government benefits at all, ever, unless their status changes. And on top of those restrictions, this administration is making people afraid to lawfully access the benefits they are allowed to have, because it might have consequences for their immigration applications. This is probably one of many reasons why — as I noted above — immigrants tend to take jobs American citizens don’t want.

Note that this didn’t stop the Internet from claiming Trump ended government handouts for immigrants, but if that were actually true, wouldn’t that also mean that immigrants don’t get benefits? (Sometimes I don’t think people listen to their own arguments all the way through.)

Myth 10: “ Immigrants don’t pay taxes.”

Immigrants authorized to work are required to pay taxes; there is literally nothing about being a noncitizen that makes you exempt from paying. (Authorized workers also contribute to Social Security, in case anyone was curious.) There’s no evidence that authorized workers commit tax fraud with any greater frequency than the average population, and in fact since tax fraud has immigration consequences, it’s likely they commit tax fraud far less often than our sitting President.

But perhaps more to the point, undocumented workers can pay taxes under an Individual Tax Identification Number without having any legal status. As a result, many undocumented immigrants working under the table pay taxes and contribute to Social Security even though they’ll never see any benefits from it. This is sort of like the “taking our jobs” thing; actually, immigrants support citizens in this regard.

So there you have it! Ten myths, ten corrections, and hopefully we all learned something today. (I learned that it takes a looooong time to correct all the myths you see on the Internet.) I’ll be adding to it as we gain Greatest Hits, which I’m sure will continue to happen. Please feel free to link to this essay, take links from it, or otherwise use it in the Quest to Fight Propaganda. And good luck out there!

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 40 (October 21–27)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1wc9lS6aAy1HvC3KIBFUnwwVYqkJFHD0e

This week’s news was a poisoned pill that is very, very hard to swallow for many of us. I don’t think I can do anything that makes this information easier to sit with, so instead I’m just going to tell you that I’m here for you, and so’s your comfort food of choice. (Mine’s ice cream, which is always here for me — until I have eaten it. Ours is a complicated friendship.)

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not an entitlement! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

This was a frankly unprecedented week of politically-motivated violence in our country, which appears to have been partially incited by the far right. This phenomenon, particularly when Trump also blames the violence on the media, is a serious perversion of our First Amendment rights. I firmly believe this should be treated as related to other constitutional crises, and have included it in this section accordingly. Here are the three big things that happened on this front this week:

We also saw a couple of instances of Casual Disregard of Governing Norms this week, and neither one was especially reassuring against the backdrop above. Here are the main things to know:

I’m honestly not even sure how to classify the final story in Constitutional Crisis Corner, because it’s pretty much just authoritarian thuggery at work. I guess we’ll call it Threats to Due Process? At any rate, here’s the short version:

  • Julie Swetnick Is Investigated. Senate Judiciary Committee chairman and apparent ghoul Chuck Grassley has referred Julie Swetnick, one of Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers, to the Department of Justice for criminal investigation. For those of you playing the home game, why yes, this is the same accuser that the FBI didn’t interview and the panel Republicans took time to slut-shame in the middle of the FBI investigation. Apparently nobody can be bothered to talk to her when a Supreme Court nomination is at stake, but when she has a bad TV interview it’s time to get investigators involved.

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and I’m so, so sorry. I think it’s fair to say that this week, we all deserve kittens playing in tupperware and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me toppings for my ice cream!

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 39 October 14–20)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ldXGwvyEE1z8GmLN4geFms014ZKesMaL

Have you ever had that moment when you work a real long day, and then you come home super tired, and you open the door and discover three hairballs on the floor and this morning’s coffee grounds on the ceiling, and you just kind of blink at the mess like “welp I sure did nothing to deserve this?” That was the news this week — just a big, wholly unnecessary mess that nobody had any energy to deal with and yet we all still gotta even.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a DNA test! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

We saw a couple of instances of Casual Disregard of Governing Norms this week, and both of them were pretty weird. Here are the main things to know:

This was a bad week for Threats to the Free Press, as the Khashoggi mess continues to unfold and Trump advocates for assaulting reporters. Here are the main developments:

There was a lot of movement on the Russia Investigation this week, especially as compared to prior weeks. Here are the main things to know:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, in all its weird and mostly gross glory. For making it through the news, you deserve this video of neat street art and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me a spatula to scrape off the coffee grounds!

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 38 (October 7–13)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


https://drive.google.com/open?id=1GbMK990VX2ozUiUowUStGy2keTymx0AE

The news was a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich this week — definitely strange and kind of gross, but minimal toxic waste involved. After the rough few weeks we’ve just had, it’s nice to catch our collective breath for a moment! But that doesn’t mean anybody likes eating tuna fish with peanut butter.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a Federal Reserve! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

We saw a couple of instances of Casual Disregard of Governing Norms this week, and both of them were pretty weird. Here are the main things to know:

This week’s news about the Russia Investigation was more about things that might impact it than the Russia investigation itself, for the simple reason that not much happened on the actual investigation. But here are a couple of tangentially related things to know:

Your “Normal” Weird:

The Bad:

  • Census Citizenship Suspicions Confirmed. The guy who wants to add a citizenship question to the census — and is currently being sued over it — suddenly remembers speaking with Steve Bannon as well as Kris Kobach on the topic as of this week. Unsurprisingly, the thing that jogged his memory was evidence in that same lawsuit, which of course contradicts the story he told Congress (because lying to Congress is all the rage these days). Obviously, the evidence produced helps the plaintiffs’ prove that he was trying to chill immigrant participation, particularly when the content of the email from Kris Kobach is reviewed — so I suppose that’s a silver lining of sorts in this otherwise gross story.
  • Immigration Updates. Since we pretty much never have immigration updates that are anything good, all I’ve got for you is varying degrees of garbage on the immigration front. The worst is yet another Groundhog’s Day attempt to reinstate family separation at the border, this time specifically for asylum seekers who have literally broken no laws, because the sequel is always worse than the first one. But we also saw the official publication of rules punishing immigrant access to public benefits, kicking off a sixty-day comment period (which you may recall I said a few weeks ago is my cue to start yelling everywhere about it). For more information on what you can do and why this is a cruel policy designed to hurt people, Protecting Immigrant Families has you covered; I strongly suggest reading what they have to say and leaving a comment before December 10 if you can!
  • Trans Student Discrimination. A Virginia school decided this week that a trans student wasn’t allowed in either bathroom during an active shooter drill this week, leaving her outside while everyone else participated. This raises all kinds of questions — is this student is allowed to pee at school? — but it’s particularly galling when you note that the lockdown was in the bathrooms. So I guess this school’s plan in the event of an actual shooting was to let this student be the bait? (For Pete’s sake, during deadly shootings people hide in closets. It’s not like schools only let students seek shelter there if the kids can prove they’re coats.)

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, in all its weird and mostly gross glory. For making it through the news, you deserve this video of two guys letting bear cubs out of a dumpster and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me peanut butter treats for Megabit! (He’s a dog. He likes peanut butter, probably even with tuna fish.)

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 37 (September 30 — October 6)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


Well, it’s been about a day since the final Kavanaugh vote as I type this, and I think probably half the country spent some of Saturday, Sunday, or both in a shell-shocked malaise. And I won’t pretend this week was anything but a serious blow to our democracy, because I respect you all too much to candy-coat that. But there is still so much to do; as I type this, it’s about a month to the midterm election, and it’s realistic to think we can make real changes to the House — which would in turn mean impeachment proceedings. It might even still be possible to flip the Senate and take Yurtle the Turtle’s gavel away; a lot can happen in a month if we mobilize! In other words: we haven’t lost the whole enchilada yet, and a lot of us have registration deadlines coming up. So to keep us moving and on target, we’re switching to the Very Bad News Protocol here at Roundup HQ this week — The Bad is broken up into The Bad (Original Flavor) and The Very Bad (Extra Crispy-Making), and I’m also including a What We Can Do section because, no seriously, there is so much we can do once we’re able to peel ourselves off the floor. Also just like before, I moved The Good to the top because life’s too short and we all deserve to have our news dessert first. The closing also has fuzzy animal photos, which isn’t as good as a functional government but we’re working with what we’ve got this week.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a calendar! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

The Good:

  • Time bought for TPS. A District Court in California temporarily blocked termination of temporary protective status for four countries (Sudan, El Salvador, Haiti, and Nicaragua) this week, only three weeks before Sudan’s legal status was due to end. The preliminary injunction means that the judge believes the underlying challenge to the programs’ end has merit, likely due to the pages and pages of evidence that the whole thing was racially motivated; the administration’s executive power reaches its limits when they try to do things that are blatantly unconstitutional. That said, it was also pretty edifying to watch the court eat the government’s argument re: the travel ban for breakfast; I think my favorite quote is “The justification for a kind of super deference [for the government] advocated by the government in this case is not warranted.” These programs help over 300,000 people legally living in America, all of whom could get rounded up for deportation as soon as the programs end, and it could take several weeks for the administration to get this overturned even if the Supreme Court is on fire. So the decision buys more time for a lot of people — it’s not surprise that when this case was brought up in an immigration coalition meeting I attended this week, the whole room burst into applause.
  • Resilience in Charlottesville. A federal district court in Charlottesville has charged four white supremacists with inciting a riot and attacking counterprotesters last year after identifying them via footage of the incident. All four of the men are in custody in California and could face up to ten years in federal prison if convicted.
  • Jason Van Dyke Convicted of Murder. This one is less ‘good’ and more ‘grimly satisfying,’ but a jury in Chicago convicted police officer Jason Van Dyke of second-degree murder and sixteen counts of aggravated battery this week, four years after Van Dyke fatally shot seventeen-year-old Laquan McDonald seventeen times. The murder conviction carries a sentence of four to twenty years in prison, and each aggravated battery charge is potentially another six to thirty years. A final sentence is due on October 31.
  • HPV Vaccine Expansion. An HPV vaccination that has been available for years for minors and adults up to 26 will now be available to patients up to age 45 after a study showed its efficacy for the population. This is likely to further reduce incidences of cervix cancer in the population, as well as bringing down the price of the vaccine dramatically for people in that age range (since it can now be covered by insurance).

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

There’s definitely a lot to say about Casual Disregard of Governing Norms this week, but a lot of it will be covered below in the Extra Crispy-Making section. Here are the main other odds and ends to know:

The Russia Investigation was a bit quieter than the other splashy headlines this week, but there was still some movement. Here are the main things to know:

Your “Normal” Weird:

  • Are Gender Reveal Parties Always This Weird?* This week marked the sentencing for a CBP agent whose gender reveal explosion sparked a 47,000 acre fire in April 2017 (and that’s easily the most Trump-era sentence I’m going to write all week). The agent will ultimately owe $220,000 in restitution, despite the fire ultimately costing $8.2M in damages. Incredibly, one of the outlets to report on this wants you to know that the dude couldn’t be reached to confirm what the baby’s gender was — you’re right, Beaumont Enterprise, that’s definitely the burning question here.
  • Test of the Presidential Annoyance System.* This week marked the first national test of the IPAWS, which sadly is an International Public Alert and Warning Safety system and not a new electronic device for your pets. A bunch of the country got a Presidential Alert on the subject, although apparently not all of us did (which I can personally confirm, because apparently I’m among those marked to leave to die). But since the whole point of the test was to work out the kinks, we’re assured that this is being addressed.

The Bad:

  • EPA Episodes.* Another week, another set of horrifying reports, announcements, and proposals from History’s Worst Environmental Protection Agency. In addition to advancing the mercury proposal from last week, we’ve got a proposal on deck for weakening regs on radiation exposure, which relies on outlier arguments that a little bit of radiation is good for you (yes, really). And in follow up to last week’s Climate Change, Amirite? report, actual scientists doing their actual job at the United Nations are reporting very serious conditions such as food shortages, wildfires, and massive coral reef extinction as soon as 2040 — much sooner than we expected, because we initially believed a lot of these changes would occur at 3.6 degrees of warming, not at the newly-understood 2.7. There’s a silver lining, though, which is that these conditions are still avoidable if major changes are made in the next few years. So we can throw this on the giant pile of Reasons to Impeach Half the Administration and Put Grownups Back in Charge.
  • Farm bill Uncertainty. Just like the VAWA problem I mentioned last week, the Federal Farm Bill expired at the end of the month because lawmakers couldn’t find consensus. Unlike VAWA, it didn’t make it into the stopgap measure passed at the last minute to keep the governmental lights on. The two biggest programs in the bill, SNAP benefits and crop insurance, have other authorizations and will keep going. But it would be best if we got this ironed out quickly, because dozens of smaller programs are hanging out in limbo until it’s fixed.
  • LGBT Discrimination for, IDK, Funsies I Guess? For no apparent reason whatsoever, the Trump administration announced this week that it’s no longer issuing visas to same-sex partners of diplomats and United Nations employees unless they’re legally married, despite the fact that same-sex marriage is only recognized by 12% of the countries in the United Nations (and in many places, it’s still criminalized). The administration is also requiring partners of current diplomats to either get married here or leave, which has got to be the worst form of shotgun wedding I’ve ever heard. Incredibly, their stated reason for suddenly deciding this policy was necessary was “to ensure and promote equal treatment” — because legalizing same-sex marriage in 2015 apparently means they absolutely have to kick a bunch of queer people out in 2018, or, y’know, it’s not fair to the unmarried straight people. And if I write any more about how mind-numbingly asinine this entire thing is, I’m gonna give myself an aneurysm, so we’re just gonna move on now.

The Very Bad — Please Read It Anyway!

What We Can Do

So that’s what I have for this week, and I’m so sorry that it’s all I’ve got. For making it through all of that, you deserve this compilation of animal snapchats and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me selfies of your self-care regimens!

- — —

National News Roundup News
After speaking with a friend and fellow voice actor, I’m excited to announce that we’re trying out accessibility recording here at the NNR! You can enjoy this week’s roundup in audio form at the link below, and I particularly recommend feedback on this development as we hash out the structure and feasibility of accessibility recording long-term.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1tWquvR0saV9XFfimRbhf1xIL56zoriAo

National News Roundup: Year 2, Week 36 (September 23–29)

Kara HurvitzLeave a comment


This news week was basically three weeks of the Kavanaugh saga in a one-week suit, and half of it was incredibly discouraging, makes no freaking sense, or both. I’ll try to break it down for you into manageable pieces, but I’ll be honest: It’s not looking pretty, folks. If you live in a place with a senator on the fence, I definitely recommend calling, and will include links to scripts below.

Standard standing reminders apply: I am no journalist, though I play one in your inbox or browser, so I’m only summarizing the news within my area of expertise. This week’s news contains some detailed analysis that’s outside my expertise — I’m a lawyer, not a calendar! — but all offroad adventures are marked with an asterisk. Okay, I think that’s about it for the disclaimers. Onward to the news!

Constitutional Crisis Corners:

The main thing to know about Casual Disregard of Governing Norms this week is the Kavanaugh saga, but there was also some bonus world leaders laughing at Trump. Here’s the $0.10 digest of the past week’s chaos:

The Russia Investigation was a bit quieter than the other splashy headlines this week, but there was still some movement. Here are the main things to know:

Your “Normal” Weird:

  • New NAFTA.* After dunking on Trudeau for half the week last week, Trump did reach an agreement with Canada on trade late last night after frantic negotiation. The new agreement has the catchy name of ‘United States-Mexico-Canada’ agreement, which I assume happened because Trump loves him some McDonald’s and “U.S. McA” sounds like something you can order there. And speaking of things children love, Trump took away from this experience that bullying people works, and is now threatening to use the same technique in negotiations with European Union, China, Japan, and potentially Brazil and India. So this will be a fun year of trade negotiations.
  • Tax Cuts That Don’t Apply to You (Redux).* As forecast a few weeks ago, the House did indeed pass a bill that makes the tax cuts of last year permanent, because it managed to squeak by along party lines despite the overwhelming evidence that this is a terrible plan. Pretty much the only reason I’m sticking this in the ‘weird’ section and not the bad, other than the fact that I still can’t believe they did this while the Senate was grilling Ford and Kavanaugh, is the low likelihood that the Senate will touch this with a ten-foot pole during an election year.

The Bad:

The Good:

So that’s what I have for this week, and it’s more than enough! For making it through all of that, you deserve this parade of animals dressed up as other animals and an eventual better government. I’ll be back next week with more news, and I hope you will be back as well — but in the meantime, feel free to ping the National News Roundup ask box, which is there for your constructive comments. Send me questions! Send me feedback! Send me a week’s worth of naps!